Melancholy Eyes
by Violet Horizon
Summary: Sebastian was fond of Ciel, so why couldn't he save him? Prequel to Puppy Dog Eyes. AU. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Hey~ This is a prequel to Puppy-Dog Eyes, so if you haven't read that, that's fine, I'm not doing a fastforward or anything. This takes place one year before Puppy Dog Eyes btw. I made this prequel coz I don't think I did much justice with just making Puppy Dog Eyes a oneshot with a bunch of questions hanging in the air. I didn't want to make a mult-chap fic so I decided to write a prequel to it. So enjoy~

**Disclaimer:** Yes, I totally own Kuro, in fact, Ciel and Sebastian are locked up in my closet right now. J/K. I don't own anything~

* * *

><p>All was quiet as a young man named Sebastian was walking home from work. It was late at night and the early breeze of autumn swept by, bringing a chill to the man's body. Sebastian tightened the coat around him as he continued his way down the sidewalk, anticipated to return to hsi apartment and get some sleep. However, Sebastian froze when he came across an alley way where he heard a chorus of yells, followed by a scream.<p>

Sebastian peeked into the alley way and saw a gang of boys, not much older than sixteen beating up a smaller boy. One of the gang members had grabbed hold of the boy's hair, pulling it hard while another had a knife up to the boy's neck. The rest of the members were against the wall, ordering the teen with the knife to cut the boy. The boy was about to scream again but his voice was muffled when the teen grabbing his hair covered his mouth with his hand.

"C'mon, do it, Kelvin!" One of the teens exclaimed to the one holding the knife. Kelvin smiled psychotically and begun to cut the boy's skin, letting blood to drip onto the silver blade. But before Kelvin could dig the knife any deeper, his arm was suddenly grabbed and twisted around till a crack was emitted. Sebastian pushed Kelvin to the side, knocking the knife out of his hand and letting it drop to the ground.

Kelvin dropped to his knees, holding onto his arm that was mangled in a disoriented position. All of the teens watched in horror and the one holding the boy let go and backed up to where his allies were. Sebastian picked up the knife and brushed off the blood from the blade.

"I really hate children like you all." Sebastian exclaimed coldly, his eyes narrowing at the group who were all against the wall. "Immature, disgusting, vile . . . leave before you wind up like him." Sebastian gestured his head to Kelvin who was whimpering in great pain. He turned to his friends for help but the group were speechless and didn't know what to do. They looked at Sebastian fearfully and then they all made a run for it, disappearing down the streets.

"W—wait!" Kelvin cried out, chasing after them but no one hesitated to stop to help the teen.

Sebastian turned to the boy who was shivering, not by fright but by the cold. He wasn't wearing enough clothing to keep himself warm. All he had was a pair of ripped up jeans and a long, wrinkled shirt. A scarf was hanging loosely around his neck, but there wasn't enough wool to comfort his neck. The boy was staring wide eyed at Sebastian, his mouth hanging open, not deciding whether he should speak or not.

"Where are your parents?" Sebastian inquired curiously.

"I. . ." The boy gazed down at the ground, wrapping his arms around his fragile body which was still shaking. "I don't have any. . ."

Sebastian stared at the boy rather pitifully, this kid was around twelve or thirteen and by the looks at his body, he hasn't been eating well nor has he bathed in a while. His skin was utterly pale and the only color was the ugly purplish blue bruises scattered all over him. He looked like he was going to collapse any second, but somehow he still managed to stand.

"What's your name?" Sebastian now asked.

The boy hesitated and stared at Sebastian as if he'd forgotten. His mouth opened up and he muttered it, but when he realized he said it too quietly, he spoke it again in a tone that was above a whisper.

"Ciel. . ."

Sebastian smiled slightly by the name, it really fit him since his eyes were the color of the sky. A brilliant blue that's overshadowed by despair but held a speck of light by the support of the moon above the buildings. Sebastian took off his coat and wrapped it around Ciel's shoulders. Ciel's face flushed lightly by the touch and stared at Sebastian oddly. He didn't know why some stranger was acting this way towards him, no one ever acted this way towards him besides his parents, but they've died when Ciel was such a young age, he barely remembers them.

"Let's take you back to my place, alright?" Sebastian proclaimed, his smile widening which only made Ciel's face to flush more. Ciel just nodded in response, hiding his expression with the oversized sleeve of the coat.

x~x~x~x~x

"So why were those boys after you?" Sebastian asked Ciel who was snuggled up on the man's couch with several blankets covering him up. Sebastian handed the boy a mug filled with steamy hot chocolate, topped with marshmallows. Ciel gratefully took the mug and quickly gulped it down despite the hot liquid burning his tongue.

"I don't know. . ." Ciel picked up a marshmallow, examining its plush body before swallowing it in one bite. "Bullies just want to pick on other kids to prove that they're stronger, but in the end they are the cowards."

"That's true." Sebastian agreed, pouring himself his own cup of hot chocolate. He browsed through his fridge and pulled out a bottle off whip cream. "I found the whip cream, do you want any?"

"Yes. I also want another refill and more marshmallows." Ciel waved the now empty mug in the air.

"Certainly." Sebastian bowed his head playfully, taking Ciel's cup and heading back to the small kitchen to refill.

"You said you lost your parents?" Sebastian questioned, watching as the last drops of hot chocolate dripped into the cup. He sprayed whip cream on top and dropped twice as much marshmallows all around than he did before.

"Yeah. . ."Ciel wrapped the blankets tightly around him, laying his head down on the pillow and staring at the wall. "It was a car crash . . . I was very young when it happened so I was living on the streets for a long time. I managed to survive by sheltering myself in boxes and stealing food from the markets. But then I was caught stealing by one of those bullies and was getting beaten up by it. Even when I apologized to them that I will stop stealing, they still beat me up and threatened to kill me. Today I stole a loaf of bread but I was caught again, but this time I did want to be caught . . . and I did want to be killed . . .'cause what was the point of continuing to live if my life was just to be inhabiting the dirty streets of this city? "

Sebastian frowned, setting his cup down on the counter and walking over to the couch. He leaned over to Ciel, now asking in an icy voice.

"Then why were you screaming?"

Ciel glared up at Sebastian, but his deathly, crimson eyes struck him intently and he hesitated. Ciel turned away and brought his attention back to the blank wall across from him.

"Maybe. . . I was scared," Ciel mumbled his body quivering as he spoke the next lines in a strained voice. "of dying. "

The boy didn't say anything else for the rest of the night, nor did he make anymore movement. His eyes closed and he fell into a deep slumber. Sebastian watched him as he slept, his breathing was quiet and every so often a whimper aroused from his parted lips. Sebastian just stood at the side of the couch, his expression blank but held a sliver of sympathy in his brownish-red eyes. He lightly touched the boy's cheek and vigilantly brushed his fingers across his delicate, porcelain skin.

"Afraid of death, huh?"

x~x~x~x~x

"Don't you like this outfit?" Sebastian held the full length mirror in front of him for Ciel to see. The boy was wearing a dark blue sweater make of wool with patterns of cats sketched around the collar and waist band.

"It matches your eyes very well." Sebastian complimented with a smirk. "Plus there are cats on them."

"I hate cats." Ciel retorted.

Sebastian nearly dropped the mirror but kept himself formal and just smiled kindly, but if looked closely there was a twitch in his eye. "Really?"

"Yeah, I'm fonder of dogs." Ciel exclaimed, taking off the sweater and tossing it on the floor. "Besides, it's itchy. What else did you buy?"

Sebastian rummaged through the bag of clothes that he bought for Ciel and brought out a hat with large cat ears on them.

Ciel frowned. "You're hopeless."

x~x~x~x~x

"Do I really have to go to school?" Ciel asked Sebastian over his bowl of cereal. He's been staying at the man's apartment for over a week now and has barely gone out since.

"Yes." Sebastian was busy reading the newspaper, flipping to the next page and skimming through the articles, hoping to find an interesting one. "You need to be educated and meet new people."

"Can I be home schooled?" Ciel now asked, letting out a small moan as he rested his head on the kitchen table.

Sebastian folded the newspaper over and stared at Ciel curiously. "Why?"

"I don't want to deal with anymore annoying kids and be bullied again." Ciel exclaimed.

Sebastian sighed, took off his reading glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine . . . but I'm rather strict on teaching, just so you know."

"How so?" Ciel raised an eyebrow and soon large books were dropped in front of him.

"Please read through these books and—"

"I'm not good at reading." Ciel cut him off, glaring at the man as he pushed the books away. "My parents died when I was very young and didn't get much of an education."

"Then should we consider you going to school then?" Sebastian inquired; he picked up the books and put them aside.

"No." Ciel bit down on his lip and dipped his head downward. "I want you to teach me. . ."

Sebastian smiled and placed his reading glasses back on. "As you wish."

x~x~x~x~x

"Sebas-chan!" The landlord, or landlady of the apartment building, Grell came bouncing down the hall and threw his arms at Sebastian. Fortunately the latter stepped aside, letting the flamboyant red head to trip over his own two feet and fall face first on the floor.

Ciel rolled his eyes at Grell's stupidity, wondering how the hell he was the landlord. Grell got back on his feet and rubbed his head.

"Sebas-chan, why are you so mean?" Grell whined.

"'Cause you're an idiot." Ciel answered bluntly.

"You better watch your mouth, brat!" Grell gritted his shark like teeth and glared at the boy. Ciel just frowned and stayed quiet, wanting the guy to leave before he decided to kick him between the legs.

Sebastian sighed, standing in front of Ciel so he doesn't say anything else that could get them kicked out of the apartment. "I'm sorry _again, _for his behavior, Mr. Sutcliff. I'm still teaching him proper behavior."

"Humph." Grell straightened out his flashy, bright red coat and glared intensely at Ciel who glared back at him. "I don't understand why you allowed this brat to live in your apartment, Sebby-darling."

"It was either that or have him live in the streets." Sebastian remarked.

Grell leaned in to examine Ciel closely, his yellowish-green eyes narrowing and pursing his lips like he swallowed a lemon. He stepped a few feet back and flipped a strand a hair to the side before crossing his arms.

"I'll leave him with a warning then. . ." Grell exclaimed, starting to take his leave. "I'll see you soon, my love!" Grell blew a kiss to Sebastian and skipped off.

Ciel frowned deeply and turned to Sebastian. "What the hell does he mean by that?"

Sebastian sighed. "If you don't behave yourself properly, you're going to get kicked out, and I can't have you living in the streets again."

x~x~x~x~x

"What are you doing?" Ciel asked Sebastian who was pulling out a camera from a drawer.

"I figured we should take some pictures. You've been living here for a month now and it would be nice to capture some good moments on film. Plus I haven't used this camera in a long time." Sebastian exclaimed as he checked to see if there were batteries in the camera.

"No thank you." Ciel went back to nibble on his sandwich but a flash of light startled him. He looked up and saw that Sebastian had taken a picture of him. The man hurried over to him and showed him the picture he just took of Ciel biting into the sandwich.

"Don't you like it?" Sebastian asked curiously with a chuckle.

"Delete it." Ciel ordered.

Sebastian pouted; he didn't want to delete the picture. He was rather fond of it, but he wanted to take a better picture.

"Stand up." Sebastian pulled Ciel's chair back, allowing the boy to stand up but he stayed in his seat.

"Why?"

"I want to take a proper picture of you."

"No."

Sebastian frowned disapprovingly. He grabbed Ciel's arm and yanked him up to his feet and had him stand against the wall. Sebastian fixed up Ciel's hair and straightened out his outfit, making sure there was no dust.

"Stop touching me!" Ciel demanded, slapping Sebastian's hands away. "I'm not a child!"

Sebastian was taken aback, standing still as he looked at Ciel who was clenching his fist and was about to yell some more, but then he realized he had to control his temper.

"Just one picture." Sebastian suggested, trying to pull up a small smile. "Then I'll leave you alone."

"Fine. . ." Ciel huffed in defeat. "Just one."

"Good, please stay right there." Sebastian held up the camera to his face and focused the lens onto Ciel. "Smile."

Sebastian waited for Ciel to smile but it was taking a while. Ciel kept on twisting his lips awkwardly and it just came out as frowns. Sebastian lowered the camera and stared at the baffled boy.

"What's wrong?"

Ciel hesitated at the question but answered in a shameful tone. "I've forgotten. . ."

Sebastian tilted his head to the side; the boy who has been living in isolation for most of his life has forgotten how to smile. Sebastian went up to Ciel and placed a finger to either side of the boy's lips. Gently he lifted the corners of his mouth upward till they formed into a small, simple crescent shape. It was a surreal feeling for his lips to be in this position but also nostalgic.

"Keep your mouth in that position please." Sebastian ordered. Ciel quietly obeyed as he held up the smile, but somehow his eyes stayed in a sorrowful position. Sebastian didn't notice the boy's eyes till after he took the picture. Sebastian checked out the picture and frowned disapprovingly.

"Why do you look so sad?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm not sad." Ciel returned to his scowling, that soft smile long gone.

Sebastian showed Ciel the proof as he handed him the camera. Ciel sighed, admitting his defeat and sat back down at the table.

"It was just weird for me to smile again. . ."Ciel admitted. "I don't remember when I last did it, so doing it again just made me feel . . . odd. . ."

There was a moment of silence as Ciel started picking at his half eaten sandwich. He plucked out the crust then the wheat till there was nothing left but the meat. He mindlessly started to tear at the meat till he got bored with it and left it on the plate. Ciel rested his head on the table, his head facing away from Sebastian. He left the camera on the far end of the table. Sebastian motioned his hand to pick up the camera but was frozen by Ciel's words.

"Delete that picture. Don't let me see it again."

Sebastian nodded in understanding, but he never deleted it.

x~x~x~x~x

Ciel stepped out of the apartment building, clutching the money he had in his hands and stuffing it all in his pocket. Sebastian told him that he needed to learn how to get food properly instead of stealing it. Ciel glanced at the grocery list, grimacing upon all the food that Sebastian wanted him to get. The boy heaved out a sigh and marched down the snowy sidewalk, heading towards the market. Sebastian wasn't able to come with him since he had to go to work early. He was a doctor at the hospital nearby, so he was busy all the time with either that or tutoring Ciel.

Ciel glanced at the list again. _He really wants to get more milk, if he's mocking my height again then I'm sleeping on his bed tonight, I'm tired of sleeping on that damn couch. _

When Ciel was about to approach the market, he took in a breath and held an air of confidence. There was nothing to fret since he wasn't stealing anything, but it was going to be a while to get used too. Ciel nodded to himself, as much as he didn't want to do this, he had to.

As Ciel was about to open the door, he was suddenly grabbed and shoved into a wall, crashing back into a couple of trashcans and toppling over to the ground. Ciel rubbed his head which was throbbing painfully. He looked up and saw the gang of boys from before hovering over him. One of the boys, Ash was standing with a triumphant and psychotic smile as he held a knife in front of him.

"So you were going to be stealing again, eh?" Ash remarked, taking a step forward while Ciel managed to stand up.

"I wasn't going to steal!" Ciel retorted.

"Really? Then do you have money?" Ash now asked.

"Y. . ." Ciel paused, if he answered then the gang was just going to beat him up and steal the money. And if he answered no, the gang would just accuse him of stealing again. Ciel gritted his teeth, he didn't have time for this. Ciel grabbed one of the fallen trashcans and tossed it at the gang before breaking into a run.

"Get him!" Ash screamed, and all the boys chasing after Ciel who was running the fastest pace he could muster. There were about twelve boys chasing after him, all tall and built in contrast to Ciel's small and scrawny form.

Ciel ran across the street and didn't bother to wait till the red stop light to turn on. He dodged the racing cars coming towards him that were forced to stop to let the boy pass through. Some of the gang members stayed behind in fear that they'll get hurt, but others like Ash ran through the streets to catch Ciel.

Ciel soon reached the other side and hurried himself to an unknown direction, figuring out how else to lose the other gang members. The temperature seemed to decline and Ciel was soon losing his breath. He clutched his chest which felt like it was tightening and twisting around into a knot. He heard the screams of the members behind him and their feet pounding against the pavement of the sidewalks like drums.

Ciel's legs were about to give in but he couldn't stop. He wasn't going to let himself be beaten up again. He ran around a few buildings till he found the apartment that he was staying with Sebastian. Ciel came around to the side where the emergency stairs were, but the only way to get to them was the metal ladder hovering over a few feet. Ciel struggled a few times to reach the ladder but when he did, his leg was grabbed. Ciel clutched onto the metal bar of the ladder tightly, trying to kick whoever was grabbing him away.

"Let go!" Ciel screamed, he slammed his free foot into someone's face and knocked him down while another still grabbed his other leg. Ciel continued to thrash about but felt himself being pulled down. As Ciel tried to kick the members away, his money started to fall out of his pocket and dropped to the ground.

His legs were let go as the members gasped in delight and ducked down to win the cash. Ciel didn't notice but was free to climb up the ladder. It wasn't till he reached the stairs that he saw the boys diving for the money and collecting it in their greedy hands.

"Let go of the money!" Ciel exclaimed, but no one was listening to him. The gang departed with the cash in their hands, laughing. But the boy wasn't going to let that happen. Ciel jumped off of the ladder and ran after the gang. But before Ciel could get any further, his legs finally gave in and he collapsed to the ground.

The gang of boys has disappeared, leaving Ciel on the cold pavement. Ciel struggled to get up but his chest tightened up again and begun to cough out violently till blood was spewed out. He grabbed hold to a wall to support himself but it didn't help that he was still coughing. Ciel's breathing was short and strained and his body began to shake uncontrollably. He dropped to the ground and wearily spotted a coin in the snow, the only piece of money left. Ciel laid his hand over it before blacking out.

x~x~x~x~x

Sebastian sat down on a leather stool that was next to Ciel's hospital bed. Sebastian glanced at the clipboard in his hand and then turned to Ciel who was starting to stir.

"You've been out for a while." Sebastian exclaimed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He really didn't need the glasses but was fond of wearing them during work and tutoring.

Ciel lifted his head drowsing, his breathing was still strained and it felt like there was something caught in his throat.

"Sebastian. . ." Ciel croaked out before letting out another cough.

Sebastian lightly patted Ciel's back and handed him a glass of water. Ciel gulped down the water but continued to cough. A small trail of blood slipped out of Ciel's mouth but Sebastian whipped it off with a tissue.

Ciel rested his head back on the pillow, his coughing resuming and his breathing slowly. Sebastian gave him some medicine to help, but it only worked temporarily. When the coughing has ceased, Ciel began to talk in a strained voice.

"This wasn't the first time this has happened. . ." Ciel explained, another cough escaping his lips. "Whenever I'm exposed to the cold for a while and straining myself, I begin coughing violently to the point that blood comes out."

"You've been living under my roof for a few months now and you never told me about this?" Sebastian asked.

"You never asked so I never bother telling—"

"I'm a doctor, Ciel, and you should've told me. This is a very critical situation." Sebastian exclaimed sternly. "What you have is a disease that's been going on for a long period of time and has been weakening your respiratory system."

"What's the disease?"

Sebastian let out a low sigh and took off his glasses, placing them on his lap. "It's a disease that is caught by people who live in a poor environment and have a weak body. First sign of symptoms are coughing, lost of breath, dizziness and vomiting of blood. The symptoms become worst when the heart begins skipping beats and forgets to pump blood. Then the lungs feel like they're being crushed and can't allow air to go in or out, suffocating the victim like they're drowning in water. The worst part is probably when the heart feels like its being stabbed by something like a knife and the person feels an unbearable pain that could result in a coma or just make them black out, but when they awaken they experience the pain again."

"And. . .What happens to them afterwards?"

Sebastian paused as he stared at Ciel for a while before getting up from the stool and headed towards the door. "The attacks just keep repeating themselves till there's no stop . As for the cure. . .there's only one. I'll be back in a while to retrieve it."

x~x~x~x~x

"Ciel. . ." Sebastian quietly opened the door and found Ciel staring out of the window. It was late in the afternoon, but it was completely dark outside save for a few lights from the buildings surrounding the hospital. The lamp on the nightstand was on, embracing the room in a soft golden and white light. Sebastian sat down on the stool and rested his hand on Ciel's shoulder, brining the boy's attention.

Ciel turned to Sebastian; his eyes were shining brightly by the lamp's glow but still held that melancholy radiance. Ciel let out a cough, covering his mouth with the sleeve of his hospital gown. Drips of blood meandered down the white fabric, dying it in a dark crimson. Sebastian handed Ciel a tissue to cough into, but it wasn't enough. Sebastian patted the boy's back and helped him settle back into the bed.

"Please relax. . ." Sebastian murmured, retrieving a syringe filled with a clear, silver liquid from his coat pocket. Ciel stared at the needle in wonder, the strange liquid inside was almost looked like water.

Sebastian brushed a few strands of Ciel's bangs out of the boy's face to take a better look at his eyes. Ciel's eyes were softened and that heavenly blue that resembled much like the evening sky couldn't be anymore riveting. His lips were of faint hues of pink rose petals patched together to form a straight line, bearing no emotion except for trust as he watched the man silently. Sebastian rolled up Ciel's sleeve and laid the bare, pale arm on the white sheets.

"Are you afraid?" Sebastian inquired, his tone of voice was just above a whisper, soft and delicate. He steadied the needle inches away from Ciel's arm, patiently waiting for his answer. He turned to the boy's small frame on the bed, his body was completely calm and still. No movement was made except for the boy's lips curving upward to form a small smile.

"Not anymore."

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><p><strong>AN:** No, it's not a real disease, I made it up coz I'm too lazy to research and yes, I killed off Ciel, the reason being is that Sebastian doesn't want Ciel to go through all that pain after all he's been through. There's no cure for the disease so the only cure was death, aren't I evil? :D But it was coming since it is a tragedy and those who have read the sequel knew that Ciel was a goner, or at least had the hint of it. So, yeah, hope you enjoyed~ Also, no, there won't be a continuation of this fic or Puppy Dog Eyes, I want these two to stay as oneshots. Plus this one bugged me coz I was thinking of diffrent endings for this one as well as figuring on whether this should be multi-chap or not. But the struggle of my mind is over and now I can continue with my other fics that I've been too lazy to go back too~


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